My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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