I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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