Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
