More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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