I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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