jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize