dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
