Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
only you would photoshop your dick
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
