He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
