Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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