It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
