Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
