my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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