he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
