dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Randomize
