So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
