party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
