I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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