Have you finally orgasmed yet?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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