They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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