I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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