It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
