so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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