porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
