"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize