One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
