Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
