For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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