I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
