In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
