I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
