Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Even my vagina gasped.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
