Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
