Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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