All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
