Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
