Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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