That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
