You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm getting married
To pizza
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
