the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
