Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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