Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
COCAINE IS GR8
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
