this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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