How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
