These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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