Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
