It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
