I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
