the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
