Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
