she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
