Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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