dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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