Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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