id be glad to
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
