I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She even gives head with a lisp.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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