Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
