tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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