he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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