Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
