You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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